All I Am

Written roughly September 2014

Would you care-

would you care-

would you care-?

just unpaid bills,

unpacked boxes,

unfilled room.

emptiness,

a filler, a filler, a filler.

all i am.

a filler, a quota, a paycheck…

all i am

all i am

all i am.

by Terrah Short

Untitled Poem

Written roughly September 2014

My heart feels wrong and my eye lids are heavy.
My gut is in a knot and my skin is too hot.
I’m tired of being sick all the time. Literally: all of the time.
I’m reminded every time I eat.
I’m reminded every time I take my pills.
I’m alone in my head; I’m alone with the shadows and almost there sounds.

I’m going to stay alone because despite my laid back, low maintenance attitude and interactions, my body is high maintenance as well as my unbalanced mind.

Alone, alone.
You’re right to keep me arms length away..

by Terrah Short

Disgust

I have used every ounce of my energy to get up, feed myself, do my homework, go to class, go to work, but showering seems daunting.

Why is this task, one so simple, causing me so much trouble?

Is it because I’m disgusted by my naked body?
Yes. That could be part of it.
I am.

But I am also disgusted by my ability to just not shower, go be physically how I mentally feel about myself.

It’s also reflected in the disarray of my room.

It all makes me feel– worthless.

It feeds the thoughts that I will be alone because I am so disgusting.

Disgusted.
Disgusted.

My self-hatred always comes in tow with my depression and anxiety.

I don’t know how to end this post